Baby Naming Conundrum
I’m going to be a first time mother soon, in approximately 7-8 days and we are faced with the first of the many problems – Naming of our child.
Ideally, choosing our own baby’s name should have been a fun, inspired endeavor, but we are facing the worst of the baby naming problems.
Too many suggestions:
Me and my husband had started off selecting names privately which we kind of finalized as well. But apparently, all other family members also were thinking on their own. My mother-in-law wanted to keep name of her choice, my father-in-law apparently went with what my MIL wanted, and everyone hated the names we had chosen.
Name discussion with family is definitely entertaining especially when you get to hear so many ideas, but it can get nasty when no one name can be decided mutually and it becomes an everyday discussion. I always feel that it is the right of the parents to take the final call, but sometimes family pressure makes you bow down to the strong rejections from everyone.
Don’t share with friends:
Not just the family, but many times even your friends can dampen your mood. You select the name, you are very excited and you share with you friend. Your friend without slight hesitation, trashes the name you loved the most, and you end up feeling terrible about the name. My advice, just don’t share name with friends, keep it till the naming ceremony. After all, it’s your child’s name and your friends have no right of opinion whatsoever.
Don’t go by names, go by feelings:
Name of your child is the first identity that the new-born gets. The way your child will be born, how it was conceived, the troubles you go through to give birth, no one else can experience those. Thus, instead of thinking about names, think about the reasons, think about your experiences. The name should symbolize your deep feelings about the entire 9 months and that thought process can actually give you a name which is symbol of your love with your partner and your own experiences with the pregnancy.
Don’t let every naming discussion, become a raging battle, explain the thought process you have in selecting the name and maybe then you would have better chances of buy-in from everyone.
Just go with what your heart says:
It is your baby after all, as a mother you have kept it in your womb for 9 months and as a father you have ensured that the mother and child are healthy and happy always. Thus, just close your eyes, think of the love you have with your partner and now will share with your child, and pick a name. A name which comes from your heart will be something you will always cherish forever. It will not be a name which someone picked from a movie, or a name of a famous celebrity, or a random name from your holy book, the name you select will be a name which will come out of love of two people towards each other.
You know it all, just be yourself!
And trust me, naming is not just one thing, you will end up getting lots of advices and opinions after the kid is born coz according to all elders in the family, you just know nothing about how to raise a baby. They just forget that they were also first time parents once and they should let you also experience the same. Just go with your gut feelings, only parents can know what is best for their child.
Family support is always good, but it shouldn’t make you feel that you are a bad parent. They also made mistakes with you, so you have full right to make yours. Learn to do parenting your way, your own experiences are something you will cherish forever.
Only the Mother and Father can know what is best for their own child, after all it is their child and no one else’s. I already told my Mom, it’s my child, not yours reborn after 30 years, so let me be the mother!!!! She understood and now she lets me do things my way…..and we no longer fight and argue over small things, surprisingly we now have a much happier attitude towards everything. I ask advice when I need and she gives, but now she never makes me feel that I’m a bad mother who doesn’t know anything.
Just nod and smile if you get lots of opinions, don’t hurt people by counter arguments, however, just do what you feel is best for your child.