Ah, friends – Set of humans we choose to tolerate outside of our immediate family. They’re the ones we share Instagram reels with, complain about work to, and in my case mostly ask deep, philosophical questions like: “How would you feel if you metamorphosed into a giant spider like the one in the story by Kafka ?”

But somewhere along the line, someone says something innocent like, “Well, in my belief system…” and suddenly your brunch turns into the Council of Nicaea, minus the robes and wine (unless it’s a particularly classy brunch).

You might be living as a non-believer but the moment someone points a finger at your so-called “religion” — the atmosphere in the room becomes equivalent to lighting a scented candle in a room full of fireworks.

There’s something magical about how fast a conversation can go from “pass the mustard sauce” to “your entire worldview is incorrect and here’s a 45-minute explanation why.” Nothing brings out the inner theologian like mild disagreement over the afterlife.

It’s like everyone’s been walking around with a hidden emergency sermon in their back pocket, just waiting for the right cue. One minute you’re discussing vacation plans, and the next, your friend is aggressively defending Israel’s genocide in Gaza because Hamas started the killings it in the first place. And you are on the receiving end because you happen to be a muslim and liable to be blamed for all the wrongdoings of any radical muslim on this planet.  

Sanity? What’s that!

Common sense takes a coffee break the moment things get “spiritual.” Rational people—folks who wouldn’t argue with a GPS—suddenly decide they must call out their best friend mid-cocktail.

Voices rise. Tables rattle. Grandmas on nearby tables clutch their pearls. All because someone asked, “So you think all muslims are walking with weapons, waiting to kill any non-believer?” 

Pro tip: just say, “Oh this drink is horrible,” and call the waiter to complain and hope the moment vanishes and you can start being sane again.

The Godzilla Effect

It’s oddly impressive how people who once got slam-drunk together without shame can become mortal enemies over a debate about whether Israel attacking all muslim countries is justified or not which in your head translates to – do muslims even have a right to live on this planet.

There’s a strange psychological switch that gets flipped—call it the “Godzilla Effect.” The moment someone feels their beliefs are being questioned, they grow 50 feet tall, breathe fire, and stomp all over any possibility of a polite conclusion. The friendship becomes collateral damage.

But Seriously…

I nearly lost a friend yesterday over religion and war, over beliefs that neither of us could articulate well enough but thankfully we had some common sense left to calm down and call a ceasefire and enjoy the rest of the evening. 

I learnt a lesson for myself, next time religion comes up in any conversation, I would try something radical: listening, nodding, and maybe asking, “Hey, wanna get dessert instead?”

Because at the end of the day, there is nothing that chocolate can’t fix!