They say curiosity is a virtue. We were taught in school to be curious—ask as many questions as you have, no matter how stupid they might sound.

But no one warned us that too much curiosity might lead to asking your date, “What holds clouds up in the sky?”—right in the middle of your first kiss. And then you’re left wondering why he’s ghosting you.

I’m an overthinker. I can’t help it; that’s how I was raised. Back in school, teachers praised inquisitive kids, often grading them higher than the rest. And being the overachiever I am, I was the first to raise my hand every ten minutes.

Now? That habit has made me a total buzzkill. Every romantic moment gets interrupted by an existential question, and no dinner date is safe from an impromptu TED Talk that my partner is forced to attend—mostly against their will.

Always The Interrogator

Most of the relationships often begin with curiosity. “What’s your favorite movie?” “Where’d you grow up?” “What’s your favorite cuisine?”
All good questions. Until it turns into,

“Do you ever think about how ants organize their society better than most governments?”
“What do you really mean when you say you’re ‘fine’?”
“If love is the most romantic feeling to have, then why is it the most cliche term used to show liking – like I loooooove yellow color?”

“If you could metamorph into something else, what would that be”

And just like that, your date has mentally checked out and is planning an exit strategy involving a fake emergency text from their “dog.” I have people hangup phone faking office meetings, just because the existential question made them uncomfortable and I’m left wondering, what was I thinking asking it.

Google Romance

Your partner wants to snuggle and watch Game of Thrones (which I love by the way). But I pause after 3 episodes to Google:

• “Were queens really wearing gowns with so many layers?”
  
• “Could winter be really this long?”
  
• “Is this really how England was back in those times?”

By the time I have gathered answers to these and want to discuss them with my partner, I see he has already left the room and gone to sleep, mostly fearing what random question I will come up with to spoil the fun of watching fiction as intended.

Nothing kills the mood than a followup question

Him: “I miss you”

Me: “What does it mean to miss someone, is it sex or my presence?”

Him: “Forget it”

When someone says “I love you,” you don’t need to follow up with, “Define love.” That’s not romantic, I have realized it the hard way. That’s probably how you get dumped or ignored.

Not everything needs to be a philosophical debate

You are going on a long drive with your partner, it’s raining outside, romantic music is playing on the radio and it’s just the two of you in the car.  He puts his hand on your thighs to hold your hand. Perfect moment, right? Until you whisper:

“Do you think war is the solution to all the world’s problems just like Thanos thought killing half of the world would save the planet?”

Boom, the hand goes back to steering wheel and the intimate moment is gone, I probably might end up cuddling my pillow in the night.

Dial It Down, Sherlock

There’s a time and place for curiosity. Like trivia night. Or when someone says “I read somewhere that eating oranges at night is not good for health.”
But when it comes to relationships, sometimes you’ve got to let the mystery be. Not every moment needs analysis. Not every silence needs to be filled with a question.
Sometimes love just is, and that’s okay.
So next time you’re tempted to ask, “Do emotions have weight?”, maybe… just kiss them instead.

And if you really can’t resist, find someone just as inquisitive.
Because two people Googling “why do we blink” at 2 a.m. together, I can see this relationship working perfectly.