“Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn reverence for life until we know how to understand sex.” -Henry Ellis
Sex scandals are happening almost every day. News is filled with endless account of possibly normal people who have turned into criminals due to their sexuality. The stories of childhood sex abuse no matter how disturbing it is to the regular minds, does not seem to end. We see scores of rapes happening around the globe. Child molestation in schools, playgrounds and even their own homes by people they trust has reached to alarming levels. Disturbing, right?
These incidents give rise to a though that we all are living under the conundrums of deep sexual fantasies and urges which sometimes are dangerous and can make us criminals. At this point it would be fair to say that the most troubled relation that we have is with our erotic self. Human sexuality and our erotic desires are only secondary to the needs of survival such as eating, drinking and breathing. The power of sexuality on our lives is often misunderstood and even looked upon as shame. Worst, the belief that sex is something to be feared from can often make us victims of this unquenched thirst of being sexually satisfied.
We often interpret our sexual urges as a primitive instinct and instead of trying to use the power of sexuality we try to supress our sexual energies. We grow up thinking that sex is a taboo, something which we cannot talk with our parents, something which we cannot do in public, and something to be ashamed and guilty of if done before marriage. If a teenager is caught reading a porn magazine or masturbating then it is a matter of shame. In reality the sexual fantasies are an indication of complex human needs which we try to repress resulting in built up frustrations which can make a person a sex criminal. It’s like eating a forbidden fruit, when Adam and Eve were asked not to eat the fruit, they had to eat it just out of curiosity. Similarly, the more we are asked to stay away from sex, the more we crave for it. If only sex was considered a normal phenomenon like eating and drinking, probably such crimes wouldn’t happen.
In reality our sexual fantasies provide a very profound insight into our sub-conscious mind for experiencing pleasure. The more we suppress these fantasies, the more we lose access to deep pleasure. Fantasizing is normal. There is no harm in responding to your sexuality, in fact these fantasies helps you spice up the otherwise dull bedroom routines. From childhood to adulthood, as we mature sexually, our subconscious brain constantly tries to heal us, eroticize our pain and convert it into a fantasy story that allows us to convert any type of emotional pain into a pleasurable experience. Don’t be afraid of these fantasies and use them to unlock the box that holds the keys to our deepest healing.
Wouldn’t it be great that you are reading a romantic novel, fantasizing how great such pleasure would feel and that fantasy actually turns into a reality with your partner that night? Intelligent lust is something which we all need to understand in order to use this unused power to heal ourselves.