Sex is the be all and end all. 

As a society, we are obsessed with sex, it’s all around us, in movies, in tv series, in everyday gossip, in ads and now in food (ever heard of foodgasm). Our weirdly programmed brain thinks it’s a shameful act that should be performed only behind closed doors and not to be discussed publicly especially in front of parents, elders and children. Yet, when you are hanging out with friends, sex seems to be the most entertaining topic and if a movie is badly scripted, the director will add a few steamy sex scenes to make the movie an instant hit.

Honestly, at this stage of my life, I’m over the phase, “sex is the ultimate thing” but I still believe “sex is a beautiful thing”. I’m confused and probably the right stage for me would be, “Let my mood decide”.

For me sex is overrated, yes we do need it to procreate but once you have achieved that and fulfilled your quota for population growth, it should become optional.

Is sex is a necessity for a relationship? 

There are people who can live without sex and there are people who cannot live without sex and then there are people like us who live with occasional sex for recreational purposes. As defined by society, good or bad, painful or pleasurable, sex in a relationship is what holds it together. It’s not true really but that’s what society wants us to believe in. Ironically a couple who hasn’t slept together in years will end up in a divorce court if they are caught having intercourse with someone else outside the relationship, they are happily married without sex but god forbid if they have it with someone else then it’s forbidden.

Is the reward worth it?

On an average people can burn up to 300 – 400 cals per sexual act, that’s equivalent to a 30 minute workout in a gym. With a gym session, you feel refreshed, energetic and healthy but if the sexual act is bad, you can end up feeling exhausted, drained out and frustrated most of the time with no orgasm. There is too much performance pressure and something that’s supposed to be a recreational act, turns out to be a foul experience that can leave a bad taste and lure you towards not doing it at all. If it’s just orgasm, you will probably lean towards masturbation and be content with self-gratification. 

On the other hand, if it’s good and enjoyable then it surely is worth it but just doing it because it’s expected is not required. Don’t stress over having great sex, there are a lot of other ways to build a good chemistry in a relationship.

Can sex give happiness?

Yes, it can. Science has proven that sex CAN release feel-good happy hormones called serotonin, dopamine and endorphins. Sounds exciting but read the emphasis on the word can, happy hormones are only released when you are enjoying the act, it doesn’t help when you are feeling exhausted and just want to get it over with. The key is good sex and not just sex. If it’s the latter then there are a lot of other ways to stay happy, learn to focus on those. 

Can sex help you bond with your partner emotionally?

This is a myth, emotional build up with your partner takes a lot of other elements into consideration than just good sex because if your relation is based on sex then when you are 60 and can no longer do the deed, there would be nothing holding the two of you together. Yes, it can be a good stimulant to keep things interesting but it cannot be the foundation of a relationship. I have seen happy couples who love and care for each other immensely even though they haven’t had sex for over a decade.

Sex is overrated but it’s not the end and means of living a happy and satisfying life. It is fun and a great experience and if you find it burdensome because you never had an amazing experience between the sheets, then I suggest you try to improve your act and learn to enjoy it. It surely can take you in a happy zone but it’s not the ultimate element in being happy.


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