COVID-19 pandemic has brought the world to a standstill. Things are not how they used to be before Jan 2020 and probably never will be. Social distancing, working from home, living with the same people for 24*7 and no place to go after argument is the new way of live. Everyday is spent with hope that tomorrow you will wake up to a virus free world and life will resume normalcy (or something close to what we were used to).
In such testing times, one key question comes to my mind, “Can global pandemics and marriages co-exist?”
A quarantine situation, when two people have to endure a forced togetherness of an indefinite holiday period, confined in closed spaces, does it strengthen their bond or weaken it.
Some couples might use this time of togetherness to renew their marriage and reanimate their sex life, although it can happen with couples who have real empathy with each other, ones who are extremely optimistic or hopelessly romantics.
However, a couple whose marriage is already shaky with underlying issues of resentment and poor communication, isolation could be devastating to their marital relationship. Social distancing and too much proximity can take a toll on a relationship. One meal with a little too much salt is all it takes to have a full-blown fight. Too much fight might end up making a marriage stronger but majority of the relations will fall apart into miniscule parts that won’t be able to hold together even after lockdown period is over.
Social distancing as a couple isn’t easy. Whether you are alone or live with family, arguments and conflicts seep in quickly when both are tensed, wound up and worried. Reasons for triggering could be same or different but every damn instance can result in a big fight. “Why did you not clean the table”, “why did you put the mug on table”, “why haven’t you taken a bath till now”, “why are you listening to music so loud”, “why did you eat all the chips”, reason could be any, outcome will be just 1 – anger, frustration and argument.
Should You Be Judged for Infidelity?
In such times, a partner might end up seeking fulfillment outside of the marriage. Not for marriage, but for companionship, for understanding and to break free from the routine arguments that keep resounding in the closed chambers of four walls with no option to go out and relax.
Will this be defined as adultery or just a respite to a tough situation? Re-connecting with your childhood crush, subscribing to a dating app, flirting online, late night chats with your ex, there could be many ways for people to cope up.
I’m in no position to justify whether infidelity in such times is right or wrong, everyone has their own way of coping with isolation, so who am I to judge. Although, if you still love your better half or loved him/her in past, then don’t let quarantine affect the relationship. Take small steps like living in separate rooms during the day, don’t scrutinize everything that your spouse is doing – cut some slack, take up hobbies when the anger and frustration builds up, don’t treat your partner as a punching bag and most importantly try and make up before sleeping – from my experience, sex helps – try it to kill the frustration.
Every night that you go to bed without wanting to kill your partner in sleep is a victory, just take one day at a time, time will pass and so will these moments….and soon we shall wake up to a virus free world!