“I’m in love with someone who is just perfect and I plan to live the rest of my life with him”, declared my friend Susan over a cup of coffee yesterday. She continued, “He is an amazing partner and a wonderful friend and really the one with whom I dream of having a family with”. My natural response was, “so when do we hear the wedding bells?” “When did I say I want to get married”, Susan said casually.
I didn’t respond to her statement for a moment and started thinking, why would two people who are deeply in love and want to grow old together, not wanting to get tied with a wedding band.
Today’s generation are more and more inclined towards this theory of committing by heart and not by a piece of paper. Why get married if you are committing by heart and staying by each other’s side forever. After all marriage is just a ceremony wherein you throw a party and get some gifts. But in reality, introducing your better half as your boyfriend instead of husband is not going to change the intensity of love and care in any way, so why bother with all the ceremonies.
Marriage = More Commitment?
Contrary to this theory of what’s in a marriage, many people say that with marriage comes more commitment and more seriousness to the relation. In society also marriage is considered as a sacrament, a sacred union defining the highest level of commitment between two people guided by vows taken in front of the Lord. Marriage is supposed to be so sacred that we all are taught to stay away from sex till we are bound by those vows one of which is to be true and committed to this one person forever. Not that all of us practice this theory, but it’s a generally accepted principle.
I’m neither against marriage nor in favor of marriage. For me love is the key which can hold any relation whatsoever. But what really stimulated me to write this article was this recent trend which compelled me to think on what was really going on. Some people say it’s just a piece of paper, but my point is that if it is just a piece of paper then why are you afraid of it?
If a couple comes to me and says we love so much that we don’t need a ceremony or a paper to prove it, I wouldn’t buy it, if you love so much that you are willing to go leaps and beyond to do anything for the sake of love, then why not a marriage. Those who did marry, at least had enough courage to put their love on paper and to commit for a lifetime to love, honor, and cherish unlike those whose say, no promises here, let’s just see how it all goes!
I personally feel that not marrying means, “I love you a lot but not enough to vow my love before God, friends and family”.
I’m not being an advocate of marriage, after all it is a decision two people take mutually and if they are happy without marriage then so be it. Happily ever after doesn’t have to always include “I do.” The median age of marriage has increased to almost 30+ now and I wouldn’t be surprised if 5 years down the line, probability of a 40-year old single being killed by a terrorist attack is more than to marry.
If not for everyone, this certainly is a bad news for divorce lawyers, the more people put off the idea of getting married, lesser would be the number of divorces J.
To marry or not to marry is not for me to say, but I would surely say one thing, if you are sure that you are in love and the other person loves you the same, then don’t put off the idea of marriage, the picture of both of you holding hands and taking vows in front of the all-mighty is what makes the icing of this lovely relation to be cherished and honored forever.