Please People, Let Me Live My Own Life!
Since you are born, you are asked to walk, talk, smile, go to school, get good grades, go to college, get a good job, get married, have kids, to eat veggies, to go for jog… I feel even each breath we take is asked by someone else so that we do not die..So, the moral of this article is – Make your own goals, Live your own life, Spend time following your own dreams – not of others!
Sounds good and motivating, right?
But….(there is always a but!)
If you are going to live life your way, if you are going to passionately follow your dreams and fulfill your goals, then you need to take responsibility of your actions and be able to stand up to even your loved ones on your way to achieving your dreams.
There is nothing more wonderful in life than determining what your goals are and to pursue them rigorously. Following your dreams sounds good in words but is a costly affair. To be dedicated to your own goals asks for being mean, and requires a lot of your time, energy and money which might not please other people who are used to having you at their tail helping them following their own dreams. Like a wife leaving her own career because her husband got a higher paying job in some foreign country. Did the wife also want to go there or she just went to please her husband and help him achieve his goals?
Anyways, what this means for ME and for YOU?
A LOT! I often feel sorry for myself. I struggled hard, sacrificed my weekends, got self-deprecating shouts from bosses, and sometimes had little to none vacation time. It’s been an intensive ordeal so far and has taken me far away from friends and family.
I gave a lot to be where I’m. Most of the time, I got into comparison mode and get myself into grief for not being able to be what other people are – social, balanced, happy, rich, successful, satisfied or contented. Sometimes I felt a pressure building inside me to stop sacrificing so much for just one goal. I started judging myself and was judged by others. I had dedicatedly diverted all my energy to just one goal and nothing else mattered.
People kept telling me that you have no social life, you are always working, you have no time for even your family. I had a lot of external pressure to quit what I was doing and just do what people expected me to do. I often wondered inside, “Why am I so wrapped up in my career, when no one else I know seems to care about it. All they are doing is judging me for spending so much time pursuing my goal”.
But pursuing my goals got me into a good college, got a high paying job in a MNC, helped me start my own business, these are not the things that happened by chance. I sacrificed a lot to achieve these goals and it required a lot of hard work and strong will. I didn’t let other people judge me and divert me from my path to follow their paths. I took responsibility of what I wanted to do and didn’t get affected by people judging me.
If you wish to follow your dreams and want to for once start living your own life then follow what I did:
- Don’t enter into comparison mode:
Just focus on your goals and be determined to achieve your dreams. Don’t ever let yourself enter into the comparison trap. Focus on being YOU and allow yourself to filter the sound of others who are pressurizing your to abandon your goal. You also definitely need to stop complaining to others how many sacrifices you are making for your goal. It’s your goal, your decision, so stop cribbing and start working.
- Don’t give up:
At some point you might feel low and depressed and start agreeing with other people and say “They are probably right, I’m done”. But don’t give up so easily. Path to your dreams will not be easy. People will easily judge you and ask you to give up because it is not their dreams, it is YOURS and you need to take a decision by following your heart not theirs. Analyze what your dream is asking from you, if it makes you real bad, then tune yourself accordingly, but don’t give up on it until you achieve it.
It’s all right if it makes you look weird and out of place, once you achieve your goal, everyone will realize who you are and will appreciate you. But if you give up on something or do something that is someone else’s goal, you will never be YOU in life! If you want to be YOU, get up, take a stand and be strong-willed. Life is too short to be living in someone else’s footsteps, mark your own in a way that people follow you!