If you have problem at work, relationship problem, an affair or sexual issues, who would you go and confide in? Your best friend? Your mom? Your spouse / partner?
If you selected one of the above options, then answer this, when did you last share something really personal with him or her?
Trust is a very subjective term, when someone asks us, who you trust the most, we mostly name someone from our close inner circle, and yet when we have a big secret to share or an emotional crisis, we find a strange sort of comfort in sharing it with someone random, could be someone you meet while standing in coffee line or someone who happens to be sitting next to you in a plane.
Sometimes family is exactly something that doctor didn’t prescribe
Our close group of people usually consists of those who know us very well. Your mom will usually know your entire childhood history and your spouse probably is your closest friend and knows too much about your nature. In times of crisis, when you need unconditional support, people who know you way too well often end up worrying, guiding, advising and criticizing rather than just being a listener.
Some days back I asked a friend of mine:
Me: “who are you closest to”
Her: “My Mom”.
Me: “So did you share about your marital problems with your Mom?”
Her: “No way, she wouldn’t understand and will start taking charge of my life thinking that she will be able to protect me better than my own self”
In times when we are most vulnerable, we feel the strong need to talk, to let it out to feel lighter. We don’t necessarily look for protection or advice or guidance on how to handle the situation. It’s easier to just grab ears of a random person sitting next to you and start talking.
Going to Work is Important
For most of us, work is the only place outside home where we regularly meet like-minded people and get a space to vent, brag or just confide in a secret.
While we may not find our best friends at workplace but we can find colleagues. Be it your soul mate or your lunch partner, there’s value in talking about important things and sometimes nothing at all.
We might not like to admit but the people we are closest to are sometimes the same people we avoid the most when we need someone to talk to.
In my opinion, that’s ok and that doesn’t make you less close to the people who care a lot about you. It’s just what you need in the moment and world is full of strangers who will listen to you, you just need to remember to approach them.