Archive for February, 2012


The Plight of an Insomniac Brain

I literally used to dread the morning alarm, its buzzing sound was so irritating that I decided to stop putting the alarm and let myself lie in bed for as much as my body demanded without bothering about the ticking clock. After all I was spending most of my nights tossing and turning in bed, unable to shut out the outside noise in my brain and command it to fall asleep. So, when the morning alarm used to ring, it seemed kind of unfair, as I never was able to get my share of good sleep.

My God Insomnia!

To a common man like myself, it is just a sleepless night spent counting minutes and seconds when the sun will rise, but doctors call it some sort of a disease named INSOMNIA.

I must say I agree with the doctors, it definitely behaves like a disease, taking a toll on my energy, mood and ability to function properly during the day. Almost for the entire day I feel lethargic, I keep thinking about the time when I will go home and sleep and ironically, when that time comes, this disease kicks in and deprives me of my beauty sleep.

On further research I found out that insomnia is not just giving me sleepless nights and bleary eyes in the morning, but it can even result in some serious health problems such as heart disease, high BP, and even diabetes. Sounds scary and serious!

My Brain Doesn’t Listen to Me

Our body parts work the way we want them to. We command our hands to move and they move, we command our mouth to speak and it speaks, we command our legs to walk and they walk, so shouldn’t a command to the brain induce it into sleep mode?

I personally feel that at night whenever I command my brain to sleep, it goes on a strike and pretends not to listen to what I say. I have counted sheep, done deep breathing, yoga, meditation, but no, the brain just won’t listen to me.

Stop Sleeping to Start Sleeping

The quest for that elusive sleep lead me right to the medicine cabinet. Maybe there was something that could put me to sleep, but I was wrong, sleeping pills don’t help, they don’t take you from a state of wide wakefulness to deep sleep. They just help you sleep better when you go to sleep. Not a cure for my insomniac brain.

So, I decided to not focus on trying to sleep and instead started working at nights for long hours, until my brain and body gave up under extreme exhaustion and cried for me to go to bed. The trick actually worked and I was finally able to get some sleep, it may not be the recommended dose of 6-8 hours but it is a good start. At least now I do not feel gloomy and lethargic when I wake up in morning.

A good night sleep is one of the best things in the world, it feels so good, so great. If you are also insomniac then do listen to the plight of your insomniac brain before it gets too late…..


Once Upon A Time When Your Lips Met Mine!

You look into her eyes as she looks deep into yours. You wrap your arms around her waist and pull her closer. She touches your face and you tilt your head and your lips lock into a kiss. Your emotions are so high that you cannot think of anything else in the world at that moment and a sudden rush of feelings engulf you into a spell of love or maybe lust for some.

That happens to everyone, but, in my quest of resolving confusions of my life, I can’t help but wonder, why do we humans kiss?

If you were to ask me, I would say, “We kiss coz it feels great”.  Even one of the most famous scientists, Albert Einstien said, “Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves”. Surely, kissing must be an important act for him to say such a thing.

So that takes us back to the question, “why do we even kiss in the first place?”

So, I started hunting around to find whether there was any scientific reason for it or not. Afterall, unlike sex, kissing does not help in making babies, so why we long for a kiss so much? So, here is what I found. According to science, to kiss your six major muscles around the mouth are required to pull together the upper lips, pull up the corners of the mouth, and pull down the lower lips. And it’s just not the lips, your entire body has to make an effort for an effective kiss. When your lips lock, 5 out of 12 pairs of cranial nerves are excited. The blood vessels expand, cheeks flush, pupils dilate and the heart pumps oxygen at a higher rate. Meanwhile, your tongue tastes the tongue of the other person and the lips send message to the limbic system of the brain which is responsible for love, passion and lust.

Wow, that’s a lot of effort for just a kiss. So, why do we let our body go to such stress and even take germs of the other person into our mouth?

To be honest, even science cannot convince me that why we kiss, but the feelings I experience during a kiss doesn’t usually make me think too hard about why we kiss – instead, it simply drives me to find ways to do it more often.


What’s in the Looks?

“I really don’t care what she looks like. She should be a good person by heart. I will love her for who she is and not by her looks”, my friend said while describing about his future wife. Honestly, it sounds all good, after all looks shouldn’t really matter, but is it something we really feel from within or these are merely words to show you are not shallow? We all stared at him and wondered whether he is just saying the big words or he means it really. So, I decided to be blunt and asked him, “Don’t you care whether she is hot?” and guess what, he hesitated and replied, “Well that’s kinda obvious, isn’t it?”

This brought me to question myself, “Do we care about looks so much?” What is it about a human body that we sometimes don’t feel attracted to supposedly the best matched companion and end up falling for the wrong person? In countries where arranged marriage is prevalent, people decide on their spouses just by seeing the photograph which is really shallow but it still happens. An instant attraction to a face is mistaken for love of your life.

Body and Curves

Usually the physical attraction we have for someone is related to the body. After all we believe that a human body is God’s creation, so how can we not be attracted to it. So, just loving someone from inside and ignoring the outside looks is not possible. Yes, looks do matter. No one wants to hear, “your soul is the prettiest thing about you, it doesn’t matter how you look from outside”. In my opinion, this is just a nice way of saying, you are ugly. If you think this statement is shallow, then just ask yourself, “What are the chances that I would go on a second date with a girl who is not pretty but fun to be with than the girl who is extremely hot and well I have no idea what she talks, I was too busy looking at her”?

So, to an extent the body of a person plays a big role in attraction but before you go out on a hunt for a girl with the right curves or a guy with the right biceps, you should know that a good body does not necessarily mean the person is right for us.

Can We Be Attracted to Someone Ugly?

To be fair, I wouldn’t be wrong if I said that attraction is automatic. Either you are attracted to someone or you are not. We are attracted to celebrities, models in the glossy fitness magazines, and our preferences are instantly narrowed down to the criteria of beauty of those people. We go to a bar alone in hope of finding a date and our eyes are moving in all directions until it stops at a pretty face. We usually pass by the not-so pretty faces as if they never existed. I know it’s shallow, I wish there were more people who would not judge a book by its cover, but sadly it is the truth. No matter how much we say, looks don’t matter, we are bound by our preferences of attraction which we feel are beyond our control.

But the basis for attraction should go beyond the looks. It should be based on valuing the actual person, body and soul. Couples should be attracted to each other not by the color of their skin or eyes, but by their commitment of valuing the complete person.

Don’t be Shallow

I don’t deny the fact that looks are important. Our body is a vital part of who we are but you cannot lay a strong foundation for a long term relationship based on outside looks. Physical attraction for a person should go beyond a perfect figure and should come from valuing the person as a whole.

Not judging a person purely on looks is something that doesn’t come easily. But you can take the first step and convince yourself that a weak first sight attraction is not a permanent situation. If your spouse is very pretty but unfortunately meets with an accident which renders her ugly, would you stop being physically attracted to her?

Every creature is made by God and we have no control on how we look, but we do can change the way we make people look at us and value us. If you know someone who is a potential soul-mate, blends perfectly with your nature, and is the best candidate as your spouse, but you are not attracted, then think again. Don’t let go of your soul-mate just for the looks, welcome the God’s creation with open arms and fall in love with what’s deep inside and not what is on display.


“Honey, I’m Sorry But I Didn’t Mean What I Said, I Was Just Angry!”

“Darling, I’m really sorry but I didn’t mean the things I said earlier, I was angry and said things without meaning them”. Does this statement sound familiar to you? Probably yes, either you said this to someone or someone said it to you at some point of life. 

Usually when two people are locked in a heated battle and their adrenaline level is rising high, chances are that they are not going to solve any issue and are likely to say things to each other that are mean and hurtful which they will regret later.

Infact in worst situations, many people end up taking one sentence said by the other person in the heat of the argument, will hold on to it forever and become convinced deep down that “this is how he/she feels for me or else he/she would never say such a thing even in anger”. I’m not sure whether people say the truth in anger or they say things they don’t mean because they are angry, whatever it is, the things said in anger are most of the time hurtful and harmful to any relationship.

You might counter this statement and say that that words thrown out in anger are not from the heart as if it is something that they really felt, wouldn’t they have said it earlier?

But, I think that “I didn’t mean it… I was really angry.” is one of the lamest excuses I’ve ever heard. Anger is no excuse, and using that as an excuse means that perhaps they didn’t mean what they said, but they meant to say it just to hurt you, which as far as I’m concerned more worse.

It is highly possible that we speak things without any meaning when we are angry and we just say those things to hurt someone but still what you say is something that cannot be taken back by covering up with your anger. Besides, isn’t it part of being a full-grown individual to weigh things before saying and to have control on what comes out of your mouth?

Also, many men have an illusion that it is a “woman thing”. It is common to everyone and people get pissed and mad when things don’t happen their way irrespective of gender. We feel bad and angry when we don’t see things happening the way we want, we leash out our anger on the other person coz we just want to hurt that person.

So, if you are at the receiving end and always get upset with things said by people in anger, the key to stop getting hurt is to ignore those things, it can be tough at first but you soon will realize that there is more to what was just said. I have learned this rule and it sure has my life simpler:

Anger = Temporary Insanity

Surely, you wouldn’t want to be upset with things said by an insane person. Think about it.