Things were going great, it felt like being on cloud 9 and suddenly life hit a rock. One word which all the relationships and marriages dread came into picture, jealousy and distrust.
Almost all the relationships reach this stage at some point or the other, the partner is jealous and wrongly accuses you of something which you didn’t do. No one can define what jealousy is really, it’s a mix of many emotions, distress, agony, loss, sorrow, pain, envy, and humiliation. But whatever it is, it sure is a painful emotion which leaves behind broken hearts and tearful eyes.
Mistrust like this when enters into a relationship can be very frustrating and upsetting to both the partners. There is tension in the air, unspoken words, and cold stares. Whether the suspicion is small or big, it is hurtful and can even end up breaking a relationship. It does not mean that love is lost but the cycle of mistrust has engulfed you so badly that you cannot come out of it.
Yesterday I met a girl who recently got married and was at the verge of breakup already. She assured her husband that she was not doing anything wrong and that she loved him a lot but her partner simply couldn’t put her past behind and move on. Only time can tell what will happen to their relationship but it got me into thinking, is jealousy such a strong human instinct that it makes you see things above love and makes you over possessive.
Sometimes, we fail to understand why our partner reacted in this way and we blame him/her for being so jealous. But there can be no fire without spark, so evaluate everything before you jump to some fast conclusion.
Be a Listener!
Try to look at things closely and listen to your partner’s fears. I know it’s really hard to stand and listen to false accusations without defending yourself, but just this once, listen as an observer. Look closely from your partner’s point of view and maybe you can understand things better.
Maybe you are more outgoing than your partner and you like to talk and laugh with other people who most of the time happen to be of opposite gender. While there is nothing wrong in your heart, but some of your actions and talks can be misread by your partner.
It is also possible that you are still friends with your ex and your partner is threatened or jealous of your friendship and doesn’t find it appropriate.
There can be many such reasons for insecurity, so be a passive listener, observe and understand your partner’s point of view. You can also try to put yourself in your partner’s situation and evaluate how you would have felt if things were the other way round.
Word of Wisdom!
I personally feel that telling your partner that “I have not done anything wrong” or that “I will not meet this person anymore” is not that effective as explaining “what means the most in your life and what you want”. Share honestly how you feel life should be and what you feel about the relationship. An open communication of this sort can actually make the relationship strong and possibly even eliminate jealousy.
A relationship should always Grow in Love and not Die of Jealousy!