It is obvious that as human beings our brains are wired to invite courtship through playful body language, conversation, posturing and physiological gesturing. Flirting is a very common way to express our interest in someone and in most of the cases is harmless as well. Flirting on the edges seems to be a very natural way to go about talking to people whom you like since you are not going to sleep with everyone anyways to find out whether he/she is the right person or not.
When you are single, you have complete right to flirt with other single people and why not, that might be your only chance to find your true love. But what happens when you get flirty with other people or have people flirting with you when you are in a committed relationship?
You meet people everyday in your life, in school, at work, in restaurants and on streets who might find you attractive and would want to flirt with you. Sometimes you might even end up finding your closest friends to flirt with you calling you “darling” or “sexy” or appreciating your beauty all the time. You might even be flattered with all the attention and feel good about it, but you never know when this flirting would cross the lines and it might end up even blowing away your friendship forever.
All such unwanted flirting can make you uncomfortable especially if you are in a committed relation as flirting can bring with itself unwanted distractions that can even hurt your relation. Even though you want to stop the flirting, you might not have the courage to refuse it or make it stop in a polite way.
Whatever be the reasons for you to discourage unwanted flirting, you should employ subtle yet obvious ways and be smart enough to pull it off without being rude.
How Do You Discourage Unwanted Flirting?
Here are some ways that one can employ, even though I have not been able to use most of them in my personal life. Like most of the people, I too end up worrying how to stop the flirting with without sounding rude or hurting someone.
- Respond Negatively
Whenever someone is flirting with you, they expect you to go along with it and respond in the same playful and positive spirit. The more you reciprocate with a gloomy or serious face, the stronger is the signal that you sent across indicating that you are not interested.
- Ignore the Person
While this may be tough to implement especially if you find your friend flirting, still it is very important to ward off unwanted flirting. Don’t give time or attention and show the person that you are really busy to entertain such flirts.
- Display Lack of Interest
Never give the attention the other person craves for. Don’t let your actions, your eyes, your words show any warmth or positive radiance. If you have lack of confidence or you tend to be polite to other people, the flirtatious person would try to manoeuvre it and use it to his/her advantage. Turn the other way and show disinterest.
- Show Confusion to Every Flirtatious Move
When you see the person smiling at you for no reason, pretend to be confused and throw in a bewildered look as if you didn’t understand why he/she is smiling. Now, no one is foolish enough not to understand flirting, but if you maintain pretending you are confused, eventually the person would get tired and stop doing it.
- Do Not Play Along Just for Fun
Do not mislead yourself to play along with the flirting thinking that you are confident enough to stop it anytime. You might go way ahead and end up hurting someone’s feelings as you were just having fun. If you do end up falling in the trap and start to play along even if it is as simple as being nice or smiling when you see that person, compose yourself and stop it before it gets too late.
- Talk About your Partner
If you are in a relationship, then better to keep talking about your partner all the time and how romantically you are in love with him. Once the person understands how happy you are in your existing relation, the flirting would stop.
- Do Not Flatter
Flattery is the most common flirting technique and your doing so might give wrong impressions. Even when you appreciate that person in a simple honest way, it can be interpreted in a wrong way and do damage.
Flirting is harmless until the boundaries are not crossed. But always remember, if you are not strong and do not have the courage to stop someone, it might hurt your committed relationship badly. Just be committed to your partner and tell the world that you are not available.