Archive for the ‘Sex’ Category


Do Men Prefer Smartphones More Than Their Ladies?

It’s been a while since sex has been off agenda in our marriage. While there could be many reasons to blame like hormonal imbalances, new born child, busy work schedule, etc., I personally feel the reason is iPhone.

My husband is addicted to his gadgets, he carries his iPhone everywhere, near bed, in bathroom, while driving, there is just no rest for the poor old device. He checks his phone before sleeping, immediately after waking up and while entering home after work.

Whenever we go out also, he is either talking to someone or browsing something. The infomania is so severe that I feel the iPhone is his first wife and I’m the second.

When we first started dating, he would give lot more attention to me, we would have dinners where talks would continue endlessly and today he talks more to his smartphone while I site mute and sulk. Pre-smartphone time, we would cuddle in bed and watch late night movies no matter how boring it was, now I watch movie and he prefers to sit outside with his gadgets.

Sometime back I watched a movie where there was a comparison between how good it would be to have a mobile phone instead of wife. While it was an attempt to humor the audience, it left me thinking, is it true, do men really prefer their smartphones than their ladies? The movie gave comparisons like, “phone can be switched off at will, but wife keeps talking non-stop”, “ringtone can be changed, but wife just keeps shouting at same tone”, “phone can be changed, but you are stuck with same wife” and so on.

I started digging and it was just not me, there were many other couples glued to their smartphones who preferred to browse on their gadgets rather than talk to their spouses. That’s not correct, right? Shouldn’t there be some cut off time where you simply switch off your phones after coming home and give time to your better half.

It would be really nice to once in a while go back to old generations when there were no smartphones. Smartphones are sure making people smart but dumbing relationships.

I understand that work is important, we all are becoming busier and busier professionally. I know it’s not fair to get frustrated when he picks up calls during dinner or prefer to email a client over sex in bed, but maybe if there was a time when we both simply ignored our phones and gave dedicated time to each other, we could become more appreciative of each other’s work life too.

I’m not a very complaining or demanding person, but once in a while it’s good to reconnect with someone to whom you said “I Do”. Wouldn’t it be nice to spend time talking to someone who is already charged up rather than the phone that needs to be plugged into wall every night to charge?


Confessions of An Escort – What they think about Sex, Love and Fun!

Recently one of my clients came to me with a requirement to make a website for an elite escort agency. It’s not a usual request, but I eventually took up the work just to get some diversity in my portfolio.

The website is simple, it lists online profiles of various escorts, you can browse through them, select the one which you like, and book it.

If you look at the profiles yourself, most of the girls are super-pretty, sexy and extremely glamorous. One look at them, you would realize why most of the men are willing to cheat on their wives and date these escorts even for just one night.

Prostitution, whores, these are the terms which have been considered as a taboo if spoken in open. People consider that these women have no dignity and are doing a shameless job, probably that’s why most of the countries have also made this profession illegal.

But if this profession is really that bad then why are so many girls going into it?

Men have labelled females who get money in return of sex as shameful. They would probably never take these girls home to introduce to their parents and yet in the night they would be more than willing to spend thousands of dollars to spend just one night with them. We all know what men and the society think of escorts, but what intrigued me the most is, “What do the escorts think of these men who pay them for sex?”

Prostitution is just like any other job, you do the work and you get paid for it. I’m sure there are plenty of escorts who enjoy what they do. And then there are some who hate men in general and consider this as an opportunity to punish them. Surprisingly, I found out that most of the escorts do this work only as part-time and when they are not on their dates, they are doing other jobs such as accounting, sales, etc. You see them during the day and they would be any man’s dream, an ideal sexy housewife.

So, I decided to ask one of the escorts as to her opinion about her work.

“Sex is my profession and money is really good”. She highlighted the fact that a girl working part-time as an escort can earn as much as a successful lawyer working on Wall Street. “If the guy likes you, then you can get anywhere from $10,000 to $50,000 in just one night.”

Prostitution is not just about sex, she goes on to say, “Men don’t hire escorts just for sex, rather they seek other forms of female companionship as well. They are looking for reassurance and comfort in the form of even a simple hug to make them feel liked by the opposite sex”.

Sometimes all they need is a little spice in their sex lives so that they can go home and love their wives better.

She concludes, “I would agree that it is not always a green pasture in this industry, it has both ups and downs. Sometimes you end up meeting the wrong type of guys who would be even brutal. But eventually what I love the most about my work is that it is one profession where females can empower men. The idea of men coming to me to help meet their desires and make their lives better, is what keeps me going strong”.

Before I decided to work on this project, I was sceptic about escorts and had a completely different mind-set regarding their profession. But I must say, after speaking to a few of them and getting some insights, it’s not what it looks like. Eventually any work you do should spread love and bring happiness to your life, and if you love what you do, then it does not matter what others think. Perception of right and wrong differs with individuals, but most importantly it should sound right in your heart.


Sex Scandals and Fantasies!

“Sex lies at the root of life, and we can never learn reverence for life until we know how to understand sex.”  -Henry Ellis


Sex scandals are happening almost every day. News is filled with endless account of possibly normal people who have turned into criminals due to their sexuality. The stories of childhood sex abuse no matter how disturbing it is to the regular minds, does not seem to end. We see scores of rapes happening around the globe. Child molestation in schools, playgrounds and even their own homes by people they trust has reached to alarming levels. Disturbing, right?

These incidents give rise to a though that we all are living under the conundrums of deep sexual fantasies and urges which sometimes are dangerous and can make us criminals. At this point it would be fair to say that the most troubled relation that we have is with our erotic self. Human sexuality and our erotic desires are only secondary to the needs of survival such as eating, drinking and breathing. The power of sexuality on our lives is often misunderstood and even looked upon as shame. Worst, the belief that sex is something to be feared from can often make us victims of this unquenched thirst of being sexually satisfied.

We often interpret our sexual urges as a primitive instinct and instead of trying to use the power of sexuality we try to supress our sexual energies. We grow up thinking that sex is a taboo, something which we cannot talk with our parents, something which we cannot do in public, and something to be ashamed and guilty of if done before marriage. If a teenager is caught reading a porn magazine or masturbating then it is a matter of shame. In reality the sexual fantasies are an indication of complex human needs which we try to repress resulting in built up frustrations which can make a person a sex criminal. It’s like eating a forbidden fruit, when Adam and Eve were asked not to eat the fruit, they had to eat it just out of curiosity. Similarly, the more we are asked to stay away from sex, the more we crave for it. If only sex was considered a normal phenomenon like eating and drinking, probably such crimes wouldn’t happen.

In reality our sexual fantasies provide a very profound insight into our sub-conscious mind for experiencing pleasure. The more we suppress these fantasies, the more we lose access to deep pleasure. Fantasizing is normal. There is no harm in responding to your sexuality, in fact these fantasies helps you spice up the otherwise dull bedroom routines. From childhood to adulthood, as we mature sexually, our subconscious brain constantly tries to heal us, eroticize our pain and convert it into a fantasy story that allows us to convert any type of emotional pain into a pleasurable experience. Don’t be afraid of these fantasies and use them to unlock the box that holds the keys to our deepest healing.

Wouldn’t it be great that you are reading a romantic novel, fantasizing how great such pleasure would feel and that fantasy actually turns into a reality with your partner that night? Intelligent lust is something which we all need to understand in order to use this unused power to heal ourselves.


Sex, Pleasure, Lust and Rape

Today when I opened the newspaper, I was shocked. A 62 year old woman was raped. I always assumed that men lusted for young girls to satisfy their sexual desires and raped them in the process. But when I read about this poor old woman, I was left to thinking that why did men feel it right to rape a female?

Is rape purely defined by Lust?

If it was only about sex then a man can have sex with his wife, with hookers, or with his girlfriends. You don’t need to force yourself on a stranger for this. So why is the number of rape victims rising? This question made me think that it sure couldn’t be a crime of lust, but about violence and power. It is relates to the increasing violence in today’s world rather than just sex. I attribute this to the criminal population who is becoming bolder and more adventurous.

What impels a guy to rape?

Basic anger, ego and hostility towards women are a prime reason for this act, especially if there is a group of people.  Hence, you see an increase in number of gang rapes lately.

Most of the rapists are not typical criminals. They are just looking to take revenge or prove their male power. As they go ahead with the act they gather courage which is why women should fight and resist strongly. But usually women are terrorized at the start and simply accept the fact that they are being victimized. This encourages the assaulter more and he gathers more and more courage to finish his crime. That is why you would see that not all rape victims are murdered. As soon as his purpose is over he will simply walk away leaving the victim lying there. The laws are also so weak that either the assaulter is left on a bail or never even caught to be proven guilty.  This loophole in the legal system is also one of the reasons this crime is being committed so easily as they have no fear whatsoever. The worst part is that the guys don’t even feel guilty also which is the most saddening part.

What can you do as a woman to avoid being a victim?

Just by saying that there is nothing I can do, men are just lusting criminals is not going to help. You need to learn to see the warning signs. Resist the unwelcome advances and do not put yourself into situations that can turn dangerous. Walking alone on the road in dark, opening doors for strangers when you are alone, taking lift from someone who seems polite, handing over phone number and addresses to someone you just met at the airport, adding unknown people to your friend list on social networking sites, these are just some of the wise acts that you need to undertake for your own good.

One needs to become strong not only through training in self-defence but also emotionally. A lot of victims are a consequence of being emotionally weak and leaning to a stranger in times of loneliness.

We cannot change the mindset of men and have them to respect a woman’s body. Thus, it is the necessity for more and more women to start occupying places in occupations which were purely considered for men such as police forces, military, pilots, etc. Women in today’s world need to stand up to men and prove that we are not weak, submissive creatures which men can pounce upon anytime to satisfy their sexual aggression. With power comes the respect and when women will become powerful, men will no longer treat them as low level objects of use and throw.


Once Upon A Time When Your Lips Met Mine!

You look into her eyes as she looks deep into yours. You wrap your arms around her waist and pull her closer. She touches your face and you tilt your head and your lips lock into a kiss. Your emotions are so high that you cannot think of anything else in the world at that moment and a sudden rush of feelings engulf you into a spell of love or maybe lust for some.

That happens to everyone, but, in my quest of resolving confusions of my life, I can’t help but wonder, why do we humans kiss?

If you were to ask me, I would say, “We kiss coz it feels great”.  Even one of the most famous scientists, Albert Einstien said, “Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves”. Surely, kissing must be an important act for him to say such a thing.

So that takes us back to the question, “why do we even kiss in the first place?”

So, I started hunting around to find whether there was any scientific reason for it or not. Afterall, unlike sex, kissing does not help in making babies, so why we long for a kiss so much? So, here is what I found. According to science, to kiss your six major muscles around the mouth are required to pull together the upper lips, pull up the corners of the mouth, and pull down the lower lips. And it’s just not the lips, your entire body has to make an effort for an effective kiss. When your lips lock, 5 out of 12 pairs of cranial nerves are excited. The blood vessels expand, cheeks flush, pupils dilate and the heart pumps oxygen at a higher rate. Meanwhile, your tongue tastes the tongue of the other person and the lips send message to the limbic system of the brain which is responsible for love, passion and lust.

Wow, that’s a lot of effort for just a kiss. So, why do we let our body go to such stress and even take germs of the other person into our mouth?

To be honest, even science cannot convince me that why we kiss, but the feelings I experience during a kiss doesn’t usually make me think too hard about why we kiss – instead, it simply drives me to find ways to do it more often.


Best Reason to Use Condom

I always write something serious on my blog which can at times be boring to follow especially for people who like humor with their cup of coffee, not some marriage advice.

So here is something fun yet important, one of the best condom ads ever. Let me know if you like it or not. I can sum it up in just one sentence, “Keep it with you always, you never know when you might need it”.

Enjoy and have safe sex!

“There are mistake that you can live with, and there are mistakes that can live with you”. Which would you prefer?



Does Sex Have Any Age?

Many couples who are busy juggling jobs, managing children and domestic duties, at some point or the other become experts in dodging sexual contact with their partner. The arousal, heated passion and the erotic love making, becomes a casual routine sex and for most no sex at all. In most of the marriages that I have witnessed, with kids, demanding job and other responsibilities, sex gets lost somewhere. Why is it that the most important thing that bonded the marriage in the first place, becomes the least important thing in life once you cross a certain age?

Not being married myself, I really couldn’t understand the factor that was keeping the couples away. Then I got to talk to many married couples and found different responses. But there was one important thing, its absence caused a tension to always be present in their marriage. Usually the husband thinks, “Will it happen today?” and the wife thinks, “Can I push it to another day?” or the wife thinks, “Is he not attracted to me anymore?” and the husband feels “Will I be able to perform well?” In some circumstances, one or the other partner was not even able to get an orgasm or when it did come it was not as exciting as it used to be.

Any marriage or a relation always starts off as the ideal couple, like Romeo and Juliet, full of passion and romance. Then as time goes by, you become like everybody else and keep wondering what went wrong coz we were so much in love when we began. There is always something or the other coming up like job pressure, house loans, kids homework, which really wears you out so much that you prefer to dodge the act of love making with your partner.

Most couples end up seeing sex as an exhaustive activity like rest of them. What they fail to realize is that sex is an act of love making, an act of passion, where you let go all your stress and just flow in the moment to high levels of excitement and fun. I agree that there can be times when you are really tired and wouldn’t want to do it, but I still suggest you to make an effort to keep the ship sailing. There is no age for making love to your spouse. You are meant to be together for your life and well, sex comes with the package of marriage. So why not keep the heat burning till it lasts. Why not put oil to your rusted marriage and bring the spark back.

There is no point in dodging the act every time, if you want a successful marriage and not just a marriage for namesake, then there is just one mantra – Do it!


Is the Ultimate Goal of any Relationship – Sex?

Is it true that a relationship can only survive if the sex is good? Does all the cooing, caring, love, emotions, etc. boil down to just one aspect – physical togetherness? Once that level is reached; all the care and emotions take a sidetrack.

Have you ever felt that being in a relationship for many months and having slept together, the care and emotions that you felt before sex are gone? You are often left confused about your stand in the relation after the sexual line is crossed. Usually all the problems in a relation start to emerge once you have slept together. Isn’t that what happened with Adam and Eve as well?

It takes a lot of effort to sustain a relation and actually survive through joys and sorrows. The vows that people take in a wedding are also forgotten if the sex goes away from the marriage. Makes you think, is it the orgasm that keeps the relation going and you occasionally mistaken it for love?

I do not deny the fact that several people do have a purely platonic relation, but how rare are those or should I say how gay are those? Unless your opposite sex friend is a gay or lesbian, you cannot deny having sexual fantasies for them.

Having being in many relationships, I got to think about what was the ultimate goal of my relations.

Most of the time it was not sex at all. I do not deny the physical spark that came up occasionally but things seemed just right the way they were. Maybe that is the reason that none of the relationships lasted longer. Still I want to believe that sex is not the ULTIMATE in any relationship… The ultimate goal is Friendship and if you can find true companionship in your partner, you are a lucky person… Sex comes afterwards. To make a relationship stronger it is very important to understand that lust cannot drive a relation, it has to be something more than that… has to be an eternal feeling of long lasting companionship and sharing that will make you want to live with that person forever. A relationship has many emotions attached to it and sex should not be just about getting an orgasm, it should be an expression of love. When two people truly believe that they are meant to be together, sex becomes love making and is beautiful and without any guilt.

LOVE is the reality created by God which is supposed to be beautiful, caring, sweet, understanding and most important forever lasting. Look for a friendship in your partner, a bonding of emotions and not just hormones.

You need to decide what it is that you truly want – A Love Relationship or Plain Sex? From all the lovers out there, I wish you love and happiness with the partner of your dreams for whom you’ll have the highest regard and admiration… enough to love them completely and to see sex as the beginning of your union together….and not as an end goal.