Did You Get Into a Relationship for Happiness?
Few days ago, I went to a party where bunch of people were talking about their relationships.
“Just being with my husband makes me so happy that I feel I’m on cloud 9”
“Thanks to my spouse, I finally found happiness in my life”
“I’m done with my husband, he just doesn’t care about my happiness”
“Why don’t you leave your husband, you deserve to be happy too”
I was surprised, did all these people get into a relationship so that they could be happy or unhappy depending on outcomes?
I couldn’t control myself from thinking, why have these people become so dependent on others to control their happiness? How can it be fine to let someone hold the remote of our life and change the channels of our emotions?
My Thought – Relationships are not meant to keep you happy!
One cannot be happy unless he knows how to keep himself/herself happy. No one can make you happy unless you are super rich and you pay people to do all your job….
Putting the task of changing your moods on someone else just makes no sense. You married me, now keep me happy forever…even the sound of this statement is ridiculous.
You make yourself happy or unhappy on your own! Don’t put that onus on someone else and start blaming them when your mood conks off.
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t involve yourself in a relationship, relationships are wonderful and add a lot of meaning to our lives but they are not there to add happiness in your life which you were not able to find in yourself.
The phrase, “Better Half”, in itself is a myth, relationships or people cannot fill a void in your life or act as a band-aid to your pain.
We are all complete human beings without a relation…Relationships are like add-ons, saying that so-so completes me is stupidity. A ring on your finger doesn’t make you complete, it’s just a fashion accessory.
For me, the true purpose of a relationship is to grow. It’s like you work in a company, you learn from your boss and grow in career. Similarly, in relationship, you learn from your partner and grow in life. It’s a mirror, it shows you parts of you that are good, which are bad and in need of improvement and lastly which are horrible and just worth discarding.
We don’t break a relationship if we are unhappy, relationships get broken once you have served each other the purpose of growth and you feel you are no longer growing. Just like when you resign from a job when growth stops, you break a relationship too.