Are Arguments in a Relationship Healthy?
Consider the following scenario between two partners:
He gets angry.
She gets mad.
He gets angrier.
She keeps talking on and on about past and future and his mistakes.
He shouts at her, asks her to ‘Shut Up’ and then walks out of the room, not to mention the banging that follows.
She sits there crying and sobbing.
He comes back thinking things must have calmed down, she is upset and does not talk to him.
This goes on for some time, eventually both get over it, until the next argument seeps into their relation and the same scene continues.
While I do not say that all types of arguments are bad, but ones that do not have a closure, definitely are a dent in a relation.
Men and Women handle arguments differently. Men usually get angry too quickly and prefer to close the talks, while women get too emotional and prefer to talk and talk and talk. Thus,
to get an end result in an argument often becomes very difficult.
But why do two people argue?
A conflict in a relation comes when the thoughts of one person are in direct conflict with the thoughts of the other person. In common words, you argue when you don’t get things your way.
While a good and a fair argument can bring you closer to your lover, many arguments are hurtful and destructive for a relation.
Not all arguments lead to a fight. But when an argument takes shape of anger and both partners stop listening and start getting defensive, a fight erupts out of the small argument. Eventually, in order to defend their own opinion, both start attacking and blaming each other which further creates frustrations and eventually widens the gap between the two.
What can be done to prevent bad arguments?
The best way is to cool off the anger and laugh it out. While this may help you in the short run, it is very important to resolve the conflict and come to a mutual conclusion. Try to shift the gears, from being angry at each other, start listening to each other. Remember, a relationship is not a battleground where you fight to win or lose. A fight in a relationship will never make you win, it will always make you lose in love.
Arguments will always make you cold towards your partner. Never, go to bed with a lingering anger and frustration in the air. Always patch up before you go to bed.
Anger and arguments are very common. But the key to not let them come in your way is to sit together, listen, stop blaming and have a meaningful discussion.
Remember, lips are for smooching your partner, not for screaming at them! Once both the partners learn how to keep arguments from turning into fights, they are likely to have a strong relation with healthy discussions and not fights.
So, what do you think? Are the arguments in your relation making your relation strong or weak?