Are There Any Rules in a Relationship?
Look around, you will find rules everywhere. School, work, church, home, every place has its own rules. Rules that we need to abide by – “don’t talk while eating”, “don’t speak during prayers”, “don’t litter on the road”, “don’t exceed the lunch hour”….and so on, the list never ends.
We are taught since childhood not to break any rules, but when it comes to a relationship, the old age saying “rules are meant to be broken”, holds absolutely true.
Single people or couples, no matter what our relationship status is, we are all guilty of letting these rules block our vision to new horizons and make us believe that our existing relation is not going to work out. Maybe you think that your marriage is over as you are not having sex every day like other couples or maybe you wish to break up with your boyfriend because you feel that the spark is not there anymore.
According to me, all these reasons are just some lame rules dictating your love life and it is time to move on and reach new relationship levels by breaking these rules.
Some of the conventional rules that we think are very important for a good relationship, I believe, are a myth. Trust me, breaking those rules will actually set you free and let you have a really strong and lasting relationship.
People who live in fantasy world believe that “If it’s meant to happen, it will happen”. Now, in this jet age who has the time to actually wait for the gods of fate to shower their blessings on you. If you really like a person, go out there, tell him, and don’t be shy in opening your heart out. The worst that can happen is he/she will say no. At least you won’t be sitting around and wasting your time waiting for the right guy. There is no rule to keep sitting and waiting. Why do women hesitate to actually ask a guy out or make the first move? I think some men really like strong women who can take the charge of the love life.
Even those who think they found the perfect match, the love of their life, once their honeymoon phase is over, they don’t feel the same spark as before. But believe me, relationships are not easy, it will not be rainbows and butterflies all the time. There would be times when things get real rough, you just need to be strong, work on them and keep the love last forever. When there is true love, there are no rules; things just work out on their own. Little things that we forget once we start taking each other for granted, bring them back. Smile in the morning, say I love you every day, take out time to really talk to each other, try to seduce each other without sex, such things can really make the relationship going for a very long time.
When two people involve in a relationship, it creates an amalgamation of two cultures, natures and rules. The unspoken rules define what is considered as acceptable and unacceptable, what is good and bad, and what makes a relation work and what makes it break.
The unspoken rules influence how well you can relate to your partner, how well you can handle the intimacy, deal with your emotions and react to any conflict or misunderstandings. If the unspoken rules match for both the partners, chances are the relation will run very smoothly.
If each partner has different rules, it will lead to conflict and power struggles, as both try to get the other to adhere to their own rules.
During the course of a relation it becomes very important to identify these rules that are creating a negative impact on the relation and try to make a balance. If both the partners stay stubborn on their own set of rules, it is highly possible that the relation will hit the rock bottom and break apart. Thus, it becomes very important to break these rules, be more flexible and try to understand your partner.
If there is one rule that you should abide by is to “break all the rules”.
You need to stay open to your thoughts. If you’re single, stay open to new options. If you’re attached, stay open to new solutions. What worked last time may fail this time and vice versa. But you’ll never know what truly makes you happy unless you take a chance on love. It may be a huge risk, but it’s totally worth the reward.