When we say the words “I do”, we hope to live the rest of our lives with our better half. But is it possible that when we have lived long enough together, we no longer enjoy each other’s company?
Nearly 35 years ago, my parents tied the knot and vowed to be there for each other in better or worse. During the initial 3-4 years they would celebrate their anniversary with a big fan fare, never missing an opportunity to remind themselves of being in love.
But after a lovely 4th anniversary party, responsibility of 2 children, financial woes and extended family issues started to encroach on their couple time and just being together with kids was equivalent to celebrating anniversary.
As time went by, they were so used to each other that they would find other couples who celebrated anniversaries and valentine’s day to be pathetic. Their theory, “we still live together and respect each other, isn’t that enough”.
But growing up in the same house, I saw the romance in their marriage dwindle day by day. What used to be a passionate kiss turned into a peck on the cheek.
So, when it was their 35th wedding anniversary, it was only fair that I give them an opportunity to revive their marriage, which somehow got lost in bringing me up. I made big plans, arranged for a night’s stay in a 5-star and a special romantic candle light dinner. What better way to rekindle the old romance than dining in candlelight, right?
But I guess I was wrong, they rejected the offer and said, “We can never enjoy without our kids”. I couldn’t help but wonder, what changes when you grow old? Does the spark go away or you have already spoken and shared whatever you could in so many years that you have nothing left to talk to each other?
Life is often boring after kids, so why feed into the humdrum of it all? One of the best ways to spice up a relationship is by making the small things special and the boring things interesting. I’ll take any chance I can get to go out in public with my husband, and a wedding anniversary is the perfect excuse.
I personally think that it is very dangerous to bring complacency in a relationship. It can only lead to two things, either you sit and sulk but never complaint or you separate. For me being married for 30 years would be a really big achievement and would call for an even bigger celebration. Why stop myself in boasting that I love the man with whom I have lived for maximum years of my life….