19
May

Do You Think You Are Always Lost and Confused?

Have you ever felt trapped, confused, like someone who can never make their mind? Every time you need to make a decision you question yourself “what to do?” Even after taking the decision you feel, “did I take the right decision?”. You do everything you can, even pray to god to make things right, or give you direction, but eventually that dilemma never goes.

I’m sure at least once you would have walked into a store, spent hours selecting a dress, eventually buying it, and coming home and wondering whether I bought the right dress or not.

Be it dating, shopping, marriage, higher education, job, or something as simple as dinner menu, we are always confused.

Most of the time I’m also like that. Made me wonder, what exactly it is that makes us confused, is it the lack of confidence in ourselves, or the constant desire to please someone else. When you are in a relation, you have a constant urge to please the other person. All your decisions are focused on only one thing, “will he like it?”. You do not even bother to think what you like. Perhaps, this clouds your ability to better judge and take a judicious decision.

I have even seen people, who end up having so low self confidence that they end up being depressed. They are unable to figure out what is wrong, why it happens to me only. They go to expensive shrinks who I’m not sure help much anyways.

Whatever it is, I welcome you to come and share your stories with me. Tell me about the times you feel you have been confused, felt low and incapable of making a decision. I believe that the biggest fear is to be able to share. I’m sure if you can let it out, you would feel lot better and stronger.

So I’m waiting for your stories in this lost and confusing world!!!

Thanks for rating this! Now tell the world how you feel - .
How does this post make you feel?
  • Excited
  • Fascinated
  • Amused
  • Bored
  • Sad
  • Angry
This entry was posted on Thursday, May 19th, 2011 at 6:56 am and is filed under Confusingly Lost. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.

56 thoughts on “Do You Think You Are Always Lost and Confused?

  1. Con_fused

    Yes I agree totally to this. its the lack of self confidence and desire to please others and insecurity. I am in a relation with a married man and can’t make a decision to leave him. I don have the confidence I can get matured out line a happy life . I also don’t have the confidence to change my job out study further . I m literally stuck and stagnant.

    Reply
    1. xxx Post author

      Hi,
      I know and can understand what you are going through. I had a friend who was in same situation, after wasting many years with a married man, today she married someone else. Just believe in yourself and work hard, you will surely get to your goals. You will also find someone who will love you a lot and will take care of you forever. You just need to stay positive.

      Reply
  2. bilal

    Me too man I’m always confused almost about everything. I fear of failure even before making a decision. I don’t know what my goal is? Always think of other people’s opinion about me. I want success but does not know how to reach it and what to do. Write now I am in very important phase of life where I have to make a decision about which path to chose but I’m afraid that what if this is not the right choice. Plz help me out of this situation.

    Reply
    1. xxx Post author

      Hi,
      I always tell one thing, “after fear there is victory”. Don’t be scared and believe in yourself, just close your eyes and think what is best for you and just do it. Whatever is done by proper dedication will be a success always. Always remember one thing, everything happens for the best and failure is only by heart, in reality it is just a learning experience for you to grow ahead.

      Reply
  3. Varsha

    Ive been trying hard to figure out what I want to do with my life at age 32. Im married and not working. Im always confused about what to do with my free time. I keep wavering in my head from learning a language to taking up yoga for teaching purpose. But i can never stop at one point and say, “this is it. this is what I want to do forever”

    This makes me very impatient and frustrated. I keep changing my mind too often. What do u think I should do. I need a real goal in life to get more focused and feel my worth. Pls help.

    Varsha

    Reply
    1. xxx Post author

      Hi Varsha,
      I know what you are going through. I’m a very career oriented woman, but I had to leave work when I relocated after marriage. It is frustrating, but I suggest that try to hang out more with other people and share your thoughts. If you cannot decide on what you like best, maybe they will be able to tell you what you are good at after speaking to you. You should try to also mix with a diverse group of people who are working and staying at home as well.

      Reply
  4. Alicia

    Hello. I always find myself confused when it comes to my husband and seeking my dreams/career. Before I married my husband, We were on in off for 5 years because of my confusion of if I was really in love with him or was I just around because I know he loves me. We been married for a year now ( with a 1 yr old baby girl which he had before marriage) but I can’t seem to figure out why can’t I love him back the way he loves me. And it makes me feel selfish and confused because something deep down in me lost the attraction for him years ago. But I see myself trying to hold on because I think that I can make myself be in love with him but I notice it’s not working. He tries to hug and kiss me but I don’t do the same in return. I always felt that I’ve tried to ease everyone else instead of my self. That’s why I haven’t tried to fulfill my dreams because of what others thought and said of me. 🙁

    Reply
  5. Ss

    I am nw 31 and followed a man almost double my age
    thinking will hve a peace of mind. we were together for 4yrs
    I fall deeply in love wwith him.
    Rather he played and dump me couple of months ago.
    With bunch of lies.
    Am v ery devastated and can’t make any decision. And I am nw at adge
    lossing my job
    thought he believed in me,
    he made me believe in myself.
    through that I was able to finish a professional course planning of. further ing for better pay after one or two babies.
    Nw in a financial problem don’t knw how to manage my life.
    Also scared of not be able to have a husband a chIld again since my age is also alarming. worse is going through this alone abroad don’t have a friend all to win his trust.
    Very Very desperate nw

    Reply
  6. Confused

    Hi,
    Its always been the same,since i was a small girl and till yet continues. I see myself from the eyes of others. I am happy when i feel others think good of me and i am upset when i know people have judged me wrongly. Decisions i have made personally as well as professionally seem to be correct some day and absolutely wrong the other day. I have suffered in my relationships with my boyfriend and friends just because I was not confident enough to put my thoughts before them. Judging people is difficult, acually i judge them as the most wonderful ones because the only one who has all the flaws in this world is as i believe is me.
    I want to be a stronger person, who does not let out emotions so easily but i am not able to do that. I can’t stick to my decisions and hence have made my life miserable.I love guys who don’t love and don’t feel an inch for those who seek me. I left my boyfriend for my parents because i dont want to hurt them and now, i am hanging in a valley where i love him but i cant be with him. But, then there are still more confusions like when i was with him, i always felt insecure and lonely,wanted to impress him but was not able to. When a sudden feeling comes to me that he was a great guy and i will never get someone like him,it literally becomes difficult for me to breathe.

    Reply
    1. xxx Post author

      Hi,

      I can totally relate to what you feel. Being emotionally weak and not having enough confidence to believe in yourself is normal and happens a lot. I suggest that for sometime just try to do something different, something which you always wanted to do but was afraid. Maybe take a trip outside alone, travel alone without fear, and you will see that you are lot more than what you think about yourself.
      Once you start believing in yourself, everything will start working out well. Key is to love you before you love someone else.

      Reply
  7. priya

    hi ,
    People call me lost.they say I always look lost and grumpy but am a happy person inside. I dont understand why people think i’m always confused and some call me dope .This makes me feel low. I can tell you that my parents are lil to be blamed for this , Because I never got that affection and attention from them what my lil brother got and made fun of me in family/friends gatherings , recalling one silly lil incident (a mistake) I made when I was 12 or 13 ( i’m 22 now ). Now recently my boyfriend was invited home for lunch and yes including him , i was the topic for lunch.I feel so lonely. i have good friends who like me , they have totally a contrary opinion on me. I’m the active one in my group , but when it comes to family they make me lose hope. What do i do ?

    Reply
    1. xxx Post author

      Have you tried living independently for a change. Stay away from family for sometime, live on your own, you will surely get the confidence you need and no one will be able to make fun of you.

      Also, if you cannot separate, then try to ignore what they say about you. Laugh with them, let them know that you never take all this personally. Eventually they will stop bothering you and start talking about something else.

      Reply
  8. shree

    Hi.I’m always confused about everything in life like wearing a dress for college,shopping, making friends, even talking to someone, about boyfriend.. I can never take major decisions in life like group selection on school, select which branch to study,which college to opt,deciding my life partner..I’ve always been dependent on someone.Even after taking decisions i keep worrying “if my decisions is right or not” or “i should’ve selected something else”,”what if my teammates dont like me”. My friend says that my confused nature is creating problems for me and for others.What to do ? Should i go to a psychologic counsellor? Plz help.

    Reply
    1. xxx Post author

      Dear Nidhi,

      I can understand what you are feeling. You should definitely talk to a professional psychologist and discuss all this. Maybe there have been some unsolved issues in your past which has made you into a confusing person. I was also like this, but then I started evaluating what really makes me happy and started doing that. Didn’t care much what others think about it and since then have been a happy person.

      Reply
  9. sunny

    Hi Everyine,

    im sunny frm india..i work in an IT firn as tester.
    but when i was in college i use to love coding,bcoz some problem i went into testing
    i hv 5 yrs of epx but i dnt like testing i want to shift to coding
    but im confused wat to do.
    actually im always confused,whether it be buying home or a mobile..always looking for best option resulting delay n more delay n more..wasting my time n getting frustraated..
    i dnt know wat to do n how to have clear thoughts..

    Reply
    1. xxx Post author

      Hi Sunny,

      I can see your confusion, I was sailing in the same boat sometime back. When it comes to job, you should always listen to your heart and do what pleases you. If you like coding, you should go for that even if that means taking a step back and starting afresh in your career.

      Reply
  10. Tiya

    Hey
    I am happy to hear that someone on this earth is interested to hear such stories like mine. I am going through a phase which can be described as the total depression phase. I am mostly depressed about i don’t know what but a constant haunting feeling prevails over me all the time.This feeling starts early in the morning when i get up and last till the moment i fall asleep. I feel like i am all alone in this world, i am scared of each and everything. i can’t decide anything for myself. Even i cant decide whether i should get up and brush my teeth or not. I was a very bold and confident girl, full of dreams for life and always coming up with new ideas, but now i only want to end it all up and rest in peace. I don’t find anything interesting, i don’t like anything, i cant get myself motivated for doing ANYTHING. as i told that i cant even decide that whether i should get up and brush my teeth or not. There are days when i spend all day without brushing my teeth. i cant get myself to eat anything. i will lay hungry all day but wont get up to cook something for myself. even if i accumulate the courage to get up, i cant decide what to make and what not…even if i have to put a spoon from one place to another i am confused.I keep posting things on tomorrow. if i have some imp work to do, i say its ok, i will do it tomorrow.n that tomorrow never comes. i cant go alone anywhere. even if i have to go downstairs, i want some person to accompany me. I have lost all the confidence to talk to people. I always feel like shaking and trembling. i am in an important phase of life in which i have to make many important decisions for myself, but due to this phase, i cant even make small decision. My education and profession both are suffering badly due to this. I recently suffered from vertigo and i think reason was the same behind that too. Even if i have to go somewhere, (some common public place) i am always afraid somebody will catch me and say “dont u know its illegal to come here, come with me to the police” and it will turn into some long and messy case. All the time, i feel like my brain will burst or i will have a nervous breakdown. I discussed it with my mother and she says its just a phase, it will go away. But its not going anywhere. Everybody says i will have to do it for myself, only i can fight these feelings, i have to bring in motivation, i have to get up myself and make things right, but i want to shout to them that i even cant get up and brush my teeth. I dont get the motivation to do anything. Only negative thoughts come in my mind. I sit all the time in my room. I dont even wanna go out and meet someone. I really wish that some angel or fairy god mother comes and solves all my problems. But i know that is never gonna happen. There are times during this phase when i have even thought about suicide. But i really dont wanna do that. i dont know whether i have expressed myself clearly or not but i was totally confused while writing this and i think i haven’t put my thoughts accurately. Please help me. Please…I really need help. Please. Please. please.

    Reply
    1. xxx Post author

      I can related to what you feel. If it makes you feel better you can always share your thoughts with me. It always helps to share feelings sometimes with total strangers than people who might judge you. Please check your email, I have sent you a reply.

      Reply
  11. Cindy

    My own story is pathetic in itself. Whenever I try to speak about my confusion, my depression and my general state of sadness, they think I have a problem. Everyday is a struggle to tell myself how worthy I am. But that doesn’t help at all, I go back to the same feelings of unworthiness. I think my greatest fear comes from my deep set belief that I would fail.

    Reply
    1. xxx Post author

      This might sound very cliche, but I suggest take baby steps, do small small things to make yourself happy. This new year, take a resolution of just pleasing yourself and no one else. You will end up enjoying all by yourself a lot. Do petty things like treat yourself to a spa or pedicure, go out for a walk, read a book in a coffee shop. Just try to hang out in public places with people and try to see them with your eyes. Suddenly you will realise you are lot more worthy for your own self than anyone else.

      Reply
  12. Beannybunny

    I can relate to this. I’ve live for 22 years and 7 months, but still not decided what is my purpose of living, what course I wanted to study, which foreign language should I pick first. For my career, I’m never satisfied with any job. I always think maybe there is something better or more suitable for me. I’m confused to be in short hair or long hair. In relationship, I am genderfluid, not choosing to be a true lady or be a butchy lad. In relationship, I’m bisexual, leaning towards girls. Cant choose a younger or older one, or the feminine or masculine one. I think I’m the most confused person of all. @_@

    Reply
    1. xxx Post author

      It’s a phase of life when we are stuck between a lot of choices and we don’t know which one is best for us. In such situations I personally just go by my gut feelings and just go with the first choice which my heart says is good…

      Reply
  13. shubham

    Hi
    I am always stuck in between two different types of thoughts of a particular situation. From last 5 or 6 years i was struggling for happiness and satisfaction. I was always overthinking things. I just suffered from loneliness and when i used to sit with my friends i always allow them to make fun of me. Due to many similar daily incidents made me feeling inferior and i always feel confused taking my decisions to overcome all these situations. When i feel confused i used to think i required a councillor or any psychiatrist. Then i got dam confused that really i need a doctor or i am just overthinking. This is one situation and daily i have to face a lot of dual thought situations. All the time i used to think think and think. I know i am not able explain you properly. But i hope you may be able to understand my situation.

    Reply
    1. xxx Post author

      Shubham, I sure do understand your situation because I have been in similar one some years back. I would do one thing and then I would sit back and feel, did I do the right thing? Everyone experiences a confusing phase in life but this is not confusion but I feel lack of confidence. Just put your heart and mind into one thing and just do it. It can be right or wrong but that’s the choice you made and you need to stick with it.

      Reply
  14. Deepak

    hii..
    I am deepak. Its been 4 months since i am working in an organization as a Management Trainee. I am very upset that i m not a focused and self confident person. It directly impacts on my performance and makes me embarrasing infront of my juniors and seniors. My image is continuesly becoming negative infront of them. I always try to get the things done correctly but it becomes worse at last. My boss is not happy because of it. Please guide me and do the needful.
    Thank You.

    Reply
  15. kshama

    I am confused all the time in making decisions no matter how miniscule or big.Recently I had to struggle alot in life when I had to decide if I wanted to marry my friend who was in love with me.After 2 years I did make up my mind and settled with him.And seems it was a good decision.But after marriage I had to relocate and had to quit my earlier job.I did takeup a job in a company which consisted of 10-15 people unlike my earlier organisation having lakhs of people under one roof.The work itself is very new and having quite an experience they gave me a senior post but the problem is the work is very different and colleagues speak different language altogether which I don’t understand.The CEO sits next to me and expects a lot out of me.Though I have still not started full-fledged work I am having nervous breakdown and feeling like quitting.I made up my mind to quit this job but after 2 days am still mongering if I took the right decision.Please help me.

    Reply
    1. xxx Post author

      It is expected to have nervous anxiety due to new job stress, but don’t worry, once you start working, you will realize that you are much better than you think. Just have confidence in yourself and you will excel. A small company is a very good platform to learn a lot so use it to fullest. Try for 1 year and if you still feel the same then quit, but never give up in life. Accept challenges, that’s what will make job fun.

      Reply
  16. saumya

    hi. i am a 19 year old girl. i! am really confused about my carrer. i am studying for medical entrance exam but still i m nt sure. i know i dnt have any other intrests…. i dnt sing or dance or cook or anything. i ws once doin good academically but last 3years were d wrst years of my life. basically i dont hv good marks or friends or bf. how do i know wat feild of study is meant 4 me???? plez help.

    Reply
    1. xxx Post author

      Hi, what you need is some career counselling. They can assess your skills and suggest a good career path for you. YOu also need to make some good friends who can guide you and tell you where you are good at, sometimes friends know us better than ourselves.

      Reply
  17. dandy

    Hi
    I went into a very bad phase of my life lattell. .I am a hotel management student working in a reputed hotel but lelf the job due to my one older friend who promise me a better job in construction work. ..aAfter four to five years of working with him and also got me a canteen to run in one of the institute in town as my own. .bbut after I got married he refused to helpme in my career that we used to do..iI ffeel helpless and confused. .tthen I applied working abroad and got it. ..bbut stuck in some construction work to be completed and the canteen that I run. ..pPlease help me to decide whether I should go abroad or stuck back with canteen business. ..iI am in delimmaa. .yyour reply would means soo much to me. .iI am a man In my 30 now but con fuse.

    Reply
    1. xxx Post author

      Hi Dandy,
      I replied to your email. Don’t worry and think first what kind of job makes you most happy and stick to it.

      Reply
  18. kanu

    Hieee …i’m a really confused person in dis earth..i always feel lyk only i’m.d one who doesn’t know anything.i get confued in little to little decisions lyk shld i do dis or not.. while talking even i confused shid i speak that wrd or not ….i know its a lack of confidence …but how can i improve it as i’m shy n inrovert person…i always feel bad when pepole say me stupid or ghajni type wrd..sometyms i forgot d recent scene in my days or a week .its just flashout .i don’t even know its really happened ????

    Reply
  19. kalyani

    hai…i m unable to take decisions in my life.it is making feel upset. eventhough i m not child still i lack in taking decisions even in small issues can u pls help me out?

    Reply
    1. xxx Post author

      What kind of decisions you are trying to take. Maybe you have so many choices that’s making you confused. Try narrowing down the list. Or put pros and cons tree and pick the winner.

      Reply
  20. Dilshad

    Hi. Thanks for providing the opportunity to talk about my story.I have had low self-esteem all my life.i was confused what career I’ll pursue.Moreover i am really irrovert.i always felt i am good for nothing. Still i was able to get a job because of my cousin’s reference.but when i got pregnant i got frightened and left my job.after my child was born i became depressed.i cried all the day.The future looked black.i cant explain how bad i felt.then after four years i started my master’s.But i couldn’t study.somehow i maneged to finish masters but till now i haven’t gathered courage to apply for a job.i had dreams once, but all are gone.
    I must be the most failed person of the world. Just like the first post i want to say i am incapable of making decisions. Even at home i get confused what to do and and up doing nothing whole day.takes me hours to choose anything while shopping.
    I can’t take it anymore.i am 35. I want to change my life.i want to be something, achieve something. But i don’t know how.

    Reply
    1. xxx Post author

      Hi Dilshad,
      I can very well relate to your problems, I also have a 1.5 year old son and it was impossible to balance work and life. My social life was gone for a toss and i used to feel depressed sitting at home. You know what helped me, joining few mom support groups and finding a job where i could work from home. Now, I blog in my free time, work full time from home and am able to take care of my son as well.
      Support groups helped me a lot too….what place are you based, maybe I can suggest you as well some groups.

      Reply
  21. andy

    hii……can u hlp me plzz….i m.18 yrs old…i.m.too much confused in my lyf…….i was in a relationship…he love me vry much..but i.nvr flt soo…evn.i m little bit attached to him but not.love him…..ystrday only we jd brkup….i told.him.i.wnt to focus on.my career……nd dont to b in relation anymore……before this also.i hd told.him.tht i.wnt brkup but tht tym i ws confused whthr i m right or wrong…decision is corrct or not……nd this tym.also i.m.confused…nd mostly.scared whthr i will b able to love anyone or.not or anyone will love me or not……. i knw i m.stupid teenager…but wht to do….confused……plzzz advice me…i wnt to focus on.my career….but.do u my confusion i.alwys endup creating a mess…..

    Reply
    1. xxx Post author

      Hi, you are too young to be in a serious relationship. Every other person who gives attention will seem like the right choice. Don’t stress about all this right now and focus on your career. Love will happen when it has to happen.

      Reply
  22. arun

    Hi…every time this happens ….I am too confuse and always think whether I have taken right decision or is it a wrong one.what happened if I fail.. Feel so much depressed. What to do..

    Reply
    1. xxx Post author

      Try building confidence. It doesn’t matter whether your decision is right or wrong because you need to learn from the outcomes and try and do better next time. Even if a decision is wrong, stand up, brush up the dust and walk again. There is no gaurauntee in life, so why be stuck in depression over choices you make. Just believe in yourself and work for the best possible outcome.

      Reply
  23. Bonnie

    Hi,

    I have always double guessed and questioned myself. I can’t think of a time when I was completely confident in the choices I made. It’s kind of hard to really think through exactly what it is I want. I’ve read self help books, created goal lists and even tried seeing a therapist. I still lack focus and confidence to see my dreams into realization. I say that but on the other hand I have been seeing things I set out to do come to fruition. This is the way I’ll sum it up – Life is confusing – there will always be decisions to make and choices available. Ultimately it’s up to each individual to make those choices, irregardless of what others think because happiness comes from within. Make the decisions and choices that will make you happy! If those choices don’t make you happy then back to drawing board – make new ones!

    Reply
  24. Mkk

    Hi,

    You said it very right.m very confused and upset with my life.from simple to serious decisions m confused.i feel m incapable of handling things and situation.i cant take decisions may it be selecting courses to study or decide relationship matters like to continue or quit.for no reason m rude to my family and m guilty coz they care for me alot.all the time i feel lonely and sad.i pray alot and leave things on God.the boy i like doesn’t leave me but i doubt his sincerity,m compelled by my feelings and always cry alone either i should quit or continue.at times i think i have no brain and to overcome this no supoort no guidance.pls help me and tell me why m sad and confused and indecisive???

    Reply
  25. Akhilesh

    I Agree with all the facts you stated.

    I am even same in nature with having a dilemma in my mind.

    I think we always want our things has to be done in a perfect manner and that’s why this CONFUSION comes into the picture.

    I found something very strongly and positive in the planning stage, even though I do a good planning also, but at the time of acting that are implementing the things I get confused just having that fear in mind that I am going to correct way? Is there any impact of this on my personality? Etc. This type question comes in mind and finally drop those things aside.

    WHY THIS IS WITH ME?
    – I think we are missing that boost of confidence:- Where we have the guts to do thing in perfectly but just we never appreciate those things.

    – I have lots of dreams and desires, but somehow not to achieve it (DON’T KNOW WHY?) Till the time I have chosen many passion needs to completed but somehow it end up.

    Why it happens that we focused on something and we left from that just because of other priority comes?

    Any ways I found something today on this site and nice to share some things who also felt like me.

    Reply
  26. Ilevbare Benedicta

    Please am really down with my life. I felt I have messed up with my life because am always confused in everything I do,I don’t have courage to choose any decision for myself am always afraid of everything in life. I am 24years old struck with a course I don’t like and I can really do anything with my hand,I have very low self esteem,unmotivated about life,unable to make friends,I always isolating myself from the outside world and am not comfortable with anything in life everything tense me up.please I need help.

    Reply
    1. xxx Post author

      It’s a phase and it always passes. I know you feel very low self esteem but the key is to keep believing. Many times we end up with courses, jobs, spouses that we don’t like and we feel that is the end of life. But life is much more than that. You should be able to like the situation no matter what. You are just 24, not reached end of life, try and like the things. Moreover, you need to love yourself. Try and do 1 new thing each day and write it up somewhere. It will spice up your life and make you appreciate whatever you have.

      Reply
  27. Shreya shekhar

    M so confused bcoz now m in 11th and i dont hv enough tym to think which stream should i choose for my carreer i hv done evrything what pepl said how to chose bt….it doesnt wrk pls help mee m feeling help less how can i decide which stream i have to chose…

    Reply
    1. xxx Post author

      Hi Shreya,

      I understand your confusion, but I feel that you don’t want to get into the mainstream fields like Engineering, Medical, Commerce etc. But there are many other options out there that are more creative and do not require you to appear in those competitive exams. Something which will be worth it like fashion, writing, journalism, tourism, events, etc. Look into these verticals and I’m sure you would be able to find something that you love.

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *