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Archive for May, 2011

21
May

Confusing Act of Dating

Going on a first date is always confusing as you never know how the evening turns out to be. But I have seen many people and heard many cases when people who have been going on date for several months with the same person are also confused. To my surprise, usually the confused partner is the female.

What is it about dating that confuses us?

Is he the right person? Am I not wasting my time? Are we compatible enough? The best part about dating is that there are no strings attached, but sometimes this best part makes the act of dating all the more complicated. You always stay confused and keep wondering where the hell is this relation going. Until you end up marrying or breaking up, you will always keep having dilemma about the other person and would keep thinking constantly, what if there are better options waiting for me. Sometimes in this entire act, you start feeling bad and guilty. Moreover, if you have actually been going on for over a month, then you wonder whether he will ask me to marry him, will he dump me, shall i dump him, what if I end up being single if I dump him and what not.

What should we do?

It is very normal to find yourself torn and of two minds when you are dating. As dating is a stage when none of the person is deeply involved or committed, it is very normal to be confused as to where things are headed. When the relation has gone in the viscous circle of dating for a long time and if you wish to end it for whatever reason, it is possible that you have two minds at the same time:

  1. You have started having feelings of care or maybe love for the other person and you don’t wish to hurt him/her.
  2. You really wish to leave as you cannot tolerate the relation anymore.

It is very normal to have both the mindsets. You wish to stop dating that person as things are just not working out anymore but you are even sad as you care for the person as well. I suggest the best way is to talk to your friends who are close to you and take their advice. Almost all  of us at some point or the other faced a similar situation and personal experiences of others can really help you see through and evaluate.

Have you got a confusing story about dating? Share it with us. Thanks.

19
May

Do You Think You Are Always Lost and Confused?

Have you ever felt trapped, confused, like someone who can never make their mind? Every time you need to make a decision you question yourself “what to do?” Even after taking the decision you feel, “did I take the right decision?”. You do everything you can, even pray to god to make things right, or give you direction, but eventually that dilemma never goes.

I’m sure at least once you would have walked into a store, spent hours selecting a dress, eventually buying it, and coming home and wondering whether I bought the right dress or not.

Be it dating, shopping, marriage, higher education, job, or something as simple as dinner menu, we are always confused.

Most of the time I’m also like that. Made me wonder, what exactly it is that makes us confused, is it the lack of confidence in ourselves, or the constant desire to please someone else. When you are in a relation, you have a constant urge to please the other person. All your decisions are focused on only one thing, “will he like it?”. You do not even bother to think what you like. Perhaps, this clouds your ability to better judge and take a judicious decision.

I have even seen people, who end up having so low self confidence that they end up being depressed. They are unable to figure out what is wrong, why it happens to me only. They go to expensive shrinks who I’m not sure help much anyways.

Whatever it is, I welcome you to come and share your stories with me. Tell me about the times you feel you have been confused, felt low and incapable of making a decision. I believe that the biggest fear is to be able to share. I’m sure if you can let it out, you would feel lot better and stronger.

So I’m waiting for your stories in this lost and confusing world!!!